CATCH THEM WHILE THEY’RE IN.

From the superstore with it all
We’re pleased to announce this season’s
Diseases:

So roll up and meet us
And try our diabetes
As you enjoy
Modern yields of typhoid
And swallow
Affordable cholera.
You’ll fight us
For our meningitis,
And buy one get one free
New strains of TB,
Along with seed stocks
Of smallpox,
Whilst our anthrax
Has no purchase tax.

We have most things for sex,
Including crab ticks,
External and venereal,
Herpes and hep C,
And some things you might get for life,
Like cold sores or worse for the wife,
And Chlamydia’s on show
But you know that; Though the poor have snapped up
The clap and foot rot
And the rich cleared out
Gonorrhoea and gout.

Now our asthma attacks
Are on their way back,
And hay fever is still all the rage,
With lead poisoning, piles and the phage,
Whilst new allergies
Come with large fries.
Diarrhoea, constipation, belly ache,
Accompanied by brittle bone breaks;
Legionnaires, botulism and e-coli,
Milk sickness and eggs that won’t roll, and I
Believe BSE may become CJD
But that’s next year’s news
Along with bird flu.

(Though tell no one we sold ya
Laser fever or Ebola,
‘Cause if those fuckers fly
We’ll all die.)